Tuesday, December 14, 2010

By the Way.

Usually I try to keep this blog fun and light ( I think), but lately, my mind hasn't been fun and light, so here's my thoughts on this. Hope you don't mind!

Being a momma is HARD! Did you know this? Many times a week I remind myself that I only have ONE baby, and many of you have many more daily challenges than me.

Deborah, you take care of THREE BOYS, cook amazing meals, clean, keep a house, are involved in church, and take care of your hubby!

Ellen, you are in California without any family, and are raising two under two while your husband studies and works late hours.

Many of you work and stay home, AND do everything else that keeps a house going!

I stay home and sometimes struggle to have a good attitude raising one little boy!

When Eli was younger and less active, I was perfectly content to snuggle up in my house with my sweet baby and do homebody things. Now that he is getting older and is all over the place, I find myself frustrated and impatient some days. Yesterday, from teeth or something, he fussed ALL DAY LONG, and I was less than patient. All day long this verse replayed in my head, "I lift my eyes unto the hills, where does my help come from? My help comes from the Lord, maker of Heaven and Earth." Put that on repeat all day yesterday.

I know he's just going to get more active, but when my eight month old is throwing tantrums, I struggle to find my postive outlook. Does this happen to you? please, oh please, say it does.

The other thought on my mind is loneliness. When I was teaching high school, my colleagues and I would talk about how isolating teaching can be. You are in your room all day dealing with teenagers and all their "stuff," and you plan and grade all by yourself in your room...it can be solitary and lonely. Well, being a mom is like that, but MORE.

Staying in makes for one lonely momma. My conversations consist of telling Eli that "Momma's folding this shirt, Let's make lunch, Did you just go potty?, Let's dust this table"...One-sided conversations get old. This age is a little difficult because Eli can't do bigger kid things, like play gyms, and crafts, etc. However, I know that EVERY age has its own set of challenges, and I need to just get out and about regardless of nap times and schedules.

Two naps and feeding schedules get in the way sometimes of planning play groups and dates, and some days I just feel alone and well, bored. I can only play with a xylophone so many times before my own mind needs to be stimulated.
Here's another little song I've been singing lately,
"In the morning, when I rise, give me Jesus. And when I am alone, give me Jesus...."

Right? In my moments of impatience and weakness, I NEED help from Jesus, prayer, friends, community. I have never understood our need for community and fellowship more than now, and I know that's why God wants that for us. We are meant to help eachother. Pray for eachother. Support eachother.

Man, this was a lot to give you on a chilly Tuesday morning. Sorry for the depressing post. I'm sure ( I hope) most of you mommas have felt this way at one time or another.

By the way, I just got home from a playgroup, and God is saying, "See? Fellowship is good. Good for baby, good for mama, good for everyone!" Thanks for the invite Katie!


  1. you are so welcome! i'm so glad you came. believe me, i've been there. eli sounds a lot like collin, strong-willed! in just a few short months he'll be walking and you can get out and do more things. anytime you want to meet at the mall and let the kids play in the play area please give me a call. we can't sit in the house for longer than a day without going crazy!!

    the next time the playgroup goes to the bounce house you should come. there is an area for under two that would be perfect for him!

  2. Janie- you know I was there too! You know we miss you and I know that it has something to do with not being "home" too. Glad we talked the other day, not that I am any expert, but you have to know you aren't alone in feeling that way! How are we supposed to be 100% fabulous wife and mommy, and nothing for ourselves?! Not possible. That is also why I started the ETSY thing. To have something for myself. I am so happy I am staying home with the girls, but there were a lot of those days earlier on. And a lot more to come, I am sure, once Ava gets here.

    Prayer and friends!! That is the answer I have for now!

  3. Oh bless you! Someone once asked me, "So which is harder, going from one to two, or two to three?" I immediately replied, "Ummm, how about zero to one?!" It is a totally different schedule/unschedule and there is absolutely no lunch break or planning period.

    Some days, I just have to strap the kid/kids in the car and go get a Sonic drink, a Starbucks coffee, or walk around Target. It is amazing what that little bit of "outing" will do for the mind.

    The fact that you have the Sword of the Spirit at the forefront of your heart shows me that you are already armed for battle!

    And just another little tidbit...you just stopped nursing...your hormones are totally WONKY right now!!!

  4. Yep, you are definitely not alone and any SAHM that says they do not experience this is telling a lie. We ALL do. It comes and goes I think. There have been many times early on with all 3 of my kids that I stayed home for days on end b/c of eating and sleeping schedules. I lived for the days that friends would come over or pop in on the way somewhere.

    Later a neighbor and her best friend started a Moms group at church to help with this exact problem. It was a HUGE blessing to me. Yes, being at home with your baby(ies) can be so isolating. My advice to you is get involved with a playgroup, Moms bible study during the day (this was great for me, even on the days I had to leave early bc the nursery staff came and got me b/c of my fussy baby), or enroll at Gymboree Play & Music or My Gym or one of those places. I started Luke and AJ at 6 months at The Little Gym and it was wonderful! It was a way for them to be stimulated with activity and music, play with other babies, me to bond with them and for me to meet other Mommas. Hope those ideas help.

    Hang in there!!

  5. Your friends have given you a lot of great advise, I think. I never heard of all the activites for young mothers and their babies. Hope you will take their suggestions and get you thru this down period. For your old grandmother,watching some of the real life problems people have on t v makes me realize how fortunate I'v been in every area, all my life. Your baby is healthy, so just get busy and find a group to join. I'm sure Eli will love playing with other babies.

  6. haha im just glad you wrote this post. it was fun to read and go "i feel the same way sometimes!! im NOT alone!" me and miles have good days and bad days and probably always will :) but the older he gets the more good days we seem to have!