Tuesday, September 21, 2010
My heart is constantly being pulled between two places. The first: where I can't wait for all the fun things to come with Eli. Like crawling, saying "momma" and "i love you", big hugs from little arms, etc. The second place: trying to snap onesies that are already too small even though I just bought them last month, wishing he would cuddle in my arms like he did when he was teeny tiny.
I am so excited for the new parts where my baby learns and discovers for the first time, but my heart could literally break thinking about how fast he is growing. Does every momma feel like this ALL the time? I remember my mom in the hospital telling me, "Can you believe he is only two days old on this earth?" And I could only think, " Oh my goodness, I can't believe two whole days have passed. I wish he was still just minutes old."
I love when my baby starts to fall asleep in my arms and he is so still and just stares up at me with those big blue eyes. I lean down and kiss those sweet lips and breathe in his sweet breath. One day, I might not remember just how sweet he smells, and the thought of that is almost more than I can handle.
I feel torn between the person I am excited for my baby to grow and become and the tiny sweet baby that I want to keep this little forever.
Today my inbox said, "Your 5-month-old: Week 4", which means next Thursday he will be a full 6 months old. Oh my stars.